The end of an era or the beginning of a new chapter, depends on how you look at it. For me, it was an end of an era. School has started again for Alexis and kinder, or preschool, has begun for Reid. This is Reid’s first school experience and he is 4 1/2 years old. I am excited for him to experience new adventures and make new friends but selfishly, I am very sad that I no longer have him to myself to enjoy! This past 2 years, I have had the pleasure of staying at home with him, spending loads of one-on-one time with him, playing endless games of ball, baseball, cricket, soccer, ping pong, hockey with a baseball bat, feeding the ducks at the pond, mailing letters at the post office, going for bike rides, getting books from the library, digging holes at the beach, playing at the park and going to the café for coffee and bubbacinos. I have enjoyed every minute of it, including his every attempt to stop me from talking to anyone I know or meeting up with friends for a play or a coffee. Reid’s perfect world would include him and I, interacting without no one else but each other and playing some form of ball together.
On January 31, 2017, Alexis started grade 1 at Torquay College with a few of her classmates from Prep, as most of them were distributed among the six grade 1 classes. She was nervous about her new class and her new teacher as she did not have a very good impression on one-up day last year. But willing to give it a chance, she put on a brave face and we walked to school. Reid, on the other hand, was not at all happy that he would be losing his best playmate after 6 weeks of playing house, doctor and teacher with her.
When we picked Alexis up after her first day, she was smiling and thrilled with how the day went. She thought her teacher was really nice and that the day’s activities seemed much more interesting and challenging than Prep.
The next day, February 1, 2017 was Reid’s first day of kinder. He too, was nervous about his first day but excited as well because he had an orientation day earlier in December to meet his teachers, Stuart, Tamba and Shandelle. With his backpack organized and his new lunchbox packed, we started off to his new kinder class called the Galahs.
After signing in, Reid and I entered his new classroom with excitement and apprehension. He quickly scanned the room, looking for an activity to do. He painted a picture, made a lego tower, tried out some of the toys on the tables and drew a picture. Today was just an hour and a half session where the kids play and parents meet with the teachers. So all went very well today.
The next three weeks that followed did not go so well…in fact, I am not sure they could have gone worse. Reid’s kinder schedule is 2 full kinder days on Mondays and Wednesdays and then bush/beach kinder on Tuesday mornings. Bush kinder takes place in Bellbrae where the kids have the opportunity to play and explore in an outdoor bush environment. On beach kinder days, the kids spend the morning at the beach to enjoy outdoor play.
The second day of kinder was meant to a 3 hour session where parents drop off their kids. I stayed with Reid for about 10 minutes and then attempted to leave him but he was not having it. He stood at the door, banging on it, crying and screaming for me. I told him he had to stay for 10 minutes and then I would come back. The teacher came out to get me from the hall after 5 minutes. I ended up staying with him for the remainder of the session with one more attempt to leave for 10 minutes with little success. The following weeks got progressively worse. Reid became very creative and clever with the excuses of why he could not go to kinder. He tried everything he could think of to convince me not to take him there. He pleaded with me, he ate his breakfast very slowly hoping he would miss kinder, he ran away, he hid under couches, he hid in his room and told me not to come in until kinder was over, he said he was too tired, and it went on and on. As the days went on, it became increasingly harder to physically get him to kinder. It was heart-breaking to see him so upset and I felt awful bringing him to kinder when he was begging me not to. Kinder itself was not the problem, the teachers were not the problem, in fact, they were fantastic and went above and beyond to try and engage him. The problem with kinder, according to Reid, was that I was not there. We tried making special bracelets where we could talk to each other while he was at kinder, he had a picture of me in his bag, he brought his sleeper with him in his pocket, he brought some special toys…but nothing worked. Reid would not allow himself to enjoy kinder, he would not interact with anyone and would not let anyone interact with him. He refused to sit with the rest of the class, he would not use the toilet and he passed up on his lunch. For most days, he spent his time crying while sitting under a table or by the door, waiting for me to come back.
We persevered and after 3 weeks, Reid made it through an entire day of kinder on his own, and even got out from under the table during the day to participate in some of the activities in the classroom. We celebrated with pizza and ice cream, of course!
To say this past month has been difficult would be an understatement. My heart hurts for Reid that he has to go through this tough life lesson and my heart breaks knowing that all he wants is to be with me. I know this year will be a great year for Reid, he will learn many new things, he will make loads of new friends and he will gain confidence in himself. I look forward to celebrating these things with him but at the moment, it’s hard to see how we are going to get there.
We are now finishing off the fourth week of school and although there are crocodile tears at drop off, we have had one (what I would call) successful day at kinder. He willingly walked to kinder and there was no running away or need for physical restraint at drop off. I think he has finally accepted that this is a place he has to go and we are not going to change our minds about that fact. Hopefully this is the beginning of a new and exciting chapter for him.
Janet Kuyvenhoven 